The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
