There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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