i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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