you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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