Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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