i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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