He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
