Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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