Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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