i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
