and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
