You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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