I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
