Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
