I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
