Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my shit smells like andre
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
