i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
