just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
