He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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