that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
