I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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