Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
