do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
