Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
where are my eyebrows?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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