he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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