u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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