I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
