I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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