i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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