oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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