Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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