Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
