A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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