Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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