U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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