I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
