nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
