woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
People in love make me want to vomit
they need to just BURY HIM!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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