lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
