just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
