Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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