so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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