Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(308): View more from Nebraska

It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low

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(713): View more from Texas

I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.

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(626): View more from California

I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.

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(917): View more from New York City

Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.

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(206): View more from Washington

When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.

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(207): View more from Maine

I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.

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(661): View more from California

I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.

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