Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize