Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am naked and annoyed.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
