The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
