And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
