is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
