Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
