We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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