I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
