Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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