You're completely useless in the revolution.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
