Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
