elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Terrible idea I love it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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