hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
