dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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