Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
