I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
