Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
