i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
