I think I died a long time ago.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I need moral support for this bender
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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