Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
