You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
