i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
