Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
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And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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