college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
