tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
worst night to have a conscience
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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