the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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